I was at the Tattered Cover in Denver today and bought a frappe at the coffee bar. The barista remarked that they had just acquired a spiffy new blender and I was about to be its first customer.
I glanced at the counter in back and there it was — a brand-new BlendTec Fourside. W00t!
I cracked, “You mean you haven’t even tested it with any marbles or light bulbs yet?”
“Huh?” her face and mouth both said.
I said, “You know; on YouTube. Those “Will It Blend?” videos.”
“Never heard of them,” she said.
WHAT?!??
If you don’t know what I’m talking about either, it’s like this: BlendTec makes incredibly tough (and expensive) blenders. The company’s owner, Tom Dickson, started a YouTube channel several years ago called “Will It Blend?”, in which he demonstrates just how tough they are by jamming unbelievably insane things into them: Marbles, magnets, light bulbs, glowsticks, canned goods, even a couple dozen Bic lighters. His blenders chew it all up like he’s making banana smoothies.
Check ‘em out here if you don’t believe me.
Not everyone’s an Internet geek like me. But how could someone buy a $500 BlendTec blender without even being aware of the “Will it Blend?” videos? You’d think buying one would contractually obligate you to watch them all first.
I felt the universe lurching out of balance, so I grabbed my iPhone and said, “You must stop everything until you see this.” I searched YouTube for “Will it Blend?” and the first result was Dickson’s infamous iPad video, in which he breaks a brand-new iPad in half over the blender, then blends it until it’s nothing but a pile of dust.
By the time it was over, both baristas were doubled over, laughing so hard they were drooling.
Aaaah! The universe was back in balance.
On the way home I got stuck in walking-speed, bumper-to-bumper traffic on I‑25.
But I was stuck behind the Oscar Meyer Wienermobile, so I didn’t mind.
Balance in all things, Glasshoppah. Balance in all things.