Everything I Need to Know in Life I Learned From “Enter the Dragon”

Boards don’t hit back. Nei­ther does Bruce Lee: He hits first.

  • Nev­er take your eyes off your opponent.
  • Boards don’t hit back. Nei­ther does Bruce Lee: He hits first.
  • Actu­al­ly, Bruce Lee does not hit. His fist hits all by itself.
  • We are all ready to win, just as we are born know­ing only life.
  • If a nice lady brings a bunch of free pros­ti­tutes to your hotel room and invites you to pick one, just pick one. It’s rude to hog them all.
  • We need emo­tion­al con­tent. NOT ANGER!
  • There are many healthy habits that can increase your lifes­pan. Offend­ing a Shaolin tem­ple is not one of them.
  • If you see a cobra, hang on to it. You nev­er know when a cobra might come in handy.
  • Every good self-defense pro­gram should include Morse code.
  • Mall secu­ri­ty would def­i­nite­ly improve if incom­pe­tent guards were pun­ished by hav­ing their heads twist­ed off.
  • If some­one named Fred­dy says some­thing is for your own good, run.
  • Always avoid flirt­ing with an evil drug kingpin’s daughters.
  • If some­one invites you to hop in a boat to go fight on a near­by island, be polite and insist he get in the boat first.
  • The busi­ness of cor­rup­tion is like any oth­er business.
  • Nev­er attend a mar­tial arts where the emcee refers to him­self using the roy­al “we.”
  • If a guy half your size has already beat­en the day­lights out of you, and you didn’t man­age to lay a fin­ger on him, don’t attack him with a bro­ken bot­tle unless you real­ly want a mud­hole stomped in your chest.
  • If you’re so vain you have to have mir­rors all over your bath­room, don’t be sur­prised if you get impaled on a spear.
  • If you want to hus­tle some­one out of his mon­ey, look for a guy with Coke-bot­tle glass­es and a Hitler mustache.
  • You must attend the morn­ing rit­u­al, but you can skip the uni­form if you can intim­i­date the clip­board guy enough.
  • The word “I” does not exist. Even though I just used it.
  • If you lose a hand for some rea­son, there are excel­lent pros­thet­ics out there. You don’t have to resort to steak knives.
  • No one, not even Bolo, can walk away from hav­ing his nuts kicked up into his throat.
  • Lost, drunk­en men who no longer care where they find them­selves each morn­ing make an excel­lent ad hoc army of mar­tial artists.
  • You can keep guns off your island, but it won’t stop a lot of peo­ple from get­ting killed anyway.
  • If you want to win a fight, pick one with the guy who once forced your sis­ter to stab her­self in the stom­ach with a piece of bro­ken glass.