Light Bulbs

Only two, but the hard part is get­ting them in the light bulb. Thank you! I’m here all week!

Q: How many old guard leather play­ers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: You pussy-ass punks need to learn to use oil lamps like the rest of us!

Q: How many adult babies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Only after the light bulb changes them first.

Q: How many brats does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: No way! I’m mak­ing that a hard limit!

Q: How many uni­corn hunters does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Only if the light bulb can be screwed in equal­ly and no oth­er light bulbs are involved.

Q: How many polyamor­ists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: That depends: Was the light bulb a pri­ma­ry or a sec­ondary source of light?

or

A: None, because they’re all argu­ing the mean­ing of  “change,” “light” and “bulb.”

Q: How many sadists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: I’m not chang­ing any­thing until the light bulb uses its safeword!

Q: How many rape apol­o­gists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Look, all I’m say­ing is that the light bulb was kin­da ask­ing to be burned out!

Q: How many REAPers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One to change the light bulb, and one lawyer to draft the DMCA notice assert­ing that every­one else’s light bulbs are in breach of their copyright.

Q: How many Gore­ans does it take to change a light bulb?
A: That’s what slaves are for.

Q: How many Gore­ans does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Unknown: Every one that has made the attempt was too stu­pid to pull it off with­out elec­tro­cut­ing themselves.

Q: How many twue Goweans does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None: Twue Goweans all live off the grid and only run kaji­ra-pow­ered generators.

Q: How many cyber-doms does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None: Every­one knows that cyber-doms could­n’t screw if you gave them a hook­er and Sex For Dummies!

Q: How many cyber-subs does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None: If a cyber-sub could screw at all, they would be real-life subs.

Q: How many flounc­ers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: MY GOD! HOW DARE YOU POINT OUT THAT THE BULB BURNED OUT! I’M LEAVING!

Q: How many find­ommes does it take to change a light bulb?
A: If you wan­na explore that theme, it’s $50 and I won’t touch your penis.

Q: How many 19-year-old “mas­ters” does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None, he’ll just keep claim­ing HIS way is the One True Way despite a moun­tain of evi­dence otherwise.

Q: How many spot­ting groups does it take to change a light bulb?
A: What kind of idiot lets a light bulb burn out?

Q: How many care­tak­ers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Light bulb? What light bulb? No one noti­fied us about any light bulbs.

Q: How many hall mon­i­tors does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two: One to for­ward the light bulb to John Baku and one to block access to the rest of the light bulbs.

Q: How many anti-snark bul­ly­ing activists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Five: One to loud­ly state that the whole pen­e­tra­tive male/female “screw” par­a­digm is intrin­si­cal­ly vio­lent and evokes rape and hurts peo­ple’s feel­ings, and four to stand around with duct tape on their mouths.

Q: How many mil­i­tant fem­i­nist women does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: That’s “wom­yn,” and that’s not funny.

Q: How many sock pup­pets does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Q: How many sock pup­pets does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Hey, you stole my joke!
A: I did not!
A: Suu­ure — that’s why your pro­file was cre­at­ed less than an hour ago.

Q: How many PTSD suf­fer­ers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: No one knows — they always run away scream­ing when the old one burns out.

Q: How many white knights does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: They don’t; they stand around the old one light bulb and threat­en to kill any­one who tries to point out that it’s burned out.

Q: How many snark groups does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: They can’t; they’re too busy por­ing over the lat­est set of rule changes to make sure it’s still okay to make fun of peo­ple with burned-out light bulbs.