Here’s to you, Real Men of Distinction! Now go home and sleep it off, assholes.
I’m turning in my man card.
No, I’m not going sissy or anything. I’m still going to burp and scratch and prefer beer over champagne and collect guns and buy tools I don’t really need and watch UFC.
But I’m so disgusted and embarrassed by the way so many other guys act that I don’t want to be in the club anymore, if I ever was.
I was at The Underground a while back with Lily for a munch. She and two other dominant lady friends were sitting on a couch talking when a guy staggered over (he was mightily hammered), squatted down, and started telling them at length how beautiful they were and would they please join him outside for a smoke?
All three politely said no thanks, I don’t smoke. He assured them that it was okay, really; he was gay.1
I watched him pester them for about 15 minutes and finally — despite all three ladies nonverbally telling me it was fine — I grabbed his shoulder, pulled him to his feet and to the opposite side of the room, and told him to leave the ladies alone.
He angrily said it was none of my business and besides, he was gay.2 I said, “Dude. You’re drunk. And that’s no crime, but you’ve been bothering three friends of mine and not picking up on the fact that they’re nicely trying to tell you that they’re not interested and they wish you would leave them alone.”
He blustered at me a bit, but I was politely firm. He was an adult and he could do whatever else he wanted, but he was done talking to my friends. Period. New paragraph.3
You can can me a chauvinist pig if you like. But this was not a territorial pissing match, a chest-thumping display of dominance or an assumption that those poor li’l ol’ shrinking violets needed A Real Man™ to step in and rescue them.
It was me deciding I simply could not stand watching yet another member of my own gender act as if the Almighty and Most Sacred Poontang Pursuit entitled him to treat other human beings with appalling, inexcusable disrespect. Especially when the three humans in involved are three strong amazing woman, friends I love and respect too much to waste their time by not shooing away a clueless cad.
I just don’t get why guys act the way we do sometimes. I’ve never been aggressive about trying to pick up women (too shy!), but as you may have heard, “No” is a complete sentence. But honestly, is even that much necessary?
People are not conquests or acquisitions. I’ve seen a lot of talk lately about the “Gentle No,” and I understand the concept, but for the life of me I don’t understand the need. Guys, why do we even need to be reminded to listen to a “No,” gentle or not? Why do we even push hard enough that it’s needed at all? If we approach someone and that someone is not interested, why can’t we pick up on that and just move on? We’re not rutting dogs humping after a bitch in heat; we’re humans.
Maybe I don’t even have a Man Card, because all too often I just don’t understand my own gender.
- I’m not sure what difference that was supposed to make. “I’m gay, so don’t worry about me assaulting you outside”? “I’m gay, so there’s some other reason I won’t leave you alone that I’m not mentioning right now”?
- Yes, we know.
- When we got done talking, he tried several times to hug and/or kiss me. I wonder if he was gay.