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It's a kink thing. You wouldn't understand.

Profile Cocky

Don’t wor­ry, ladies—next time I’ll write about The Pes­tif­er­ous Tunasnatch.


So Here’s the Problem

Don’t tweeze me, dude!


Headspaces and Pee

Pay­back­’s a bitch, and that bitch looks an awful lot like two Ceno­bites I know and love.


Everything I Need to Know in Life I Learned From “Enter the Dragon”

Boards don’t hit back. Nei­ther does Bruce Lee: He hits first.


Balance and Wieners

The Oscar Mey­er Wiener­mo­bile: Will it blend? 


Solid Gold Cock Not Included

C’mon, guys–Drop trou and give the ladies what they’ve been wait­ing for: nee­dle-sharp fangs filled with dead­ly neurotoxin!


The Dickhead Duo: Turning in My Man Card

My name is Buck, and I’m here to act like a horny rabid baboon!


I Take You for Granted — And That’s a Good Thing

I was not endowed by my Cre­ator with the inalien­able rights of life, lib­er­ty, the pur­suit of hap­pi­ness and a beau­ti­ful mis­tress to love and cher­ish me.


Fifty Shades Trailer: A Resounding ‘Meh’

The first trail­er for “Fifty Shades of Grey” has land­ed on YouTube with the wet plop of an over­filled colosto­my bag. What kind of movie can we expect now that we’ve got­ten a hint?